Car rides can be a great opportunity for parents and teens to engage in open, honest conversations about challenging topics. Through its new series, Carversations, Instagram is spotlighting the meaningful discussions families have about technology, social media and navigating the complexities of growing up as a “Screenager.”
With Usher kicking off the series, it emphasizes protective measures that all families can adopt, such as Teen Accounts, which automatically apply age-appropriate restrictions for teens, and parental supervision features that allow parents to guide their teens’ online experiences. “There’s a way to communicate better and safely where you have some kind of control over what an adolescent mind sees and how they process it,” Usher told EBONY.
Seizing the opportunity to have genuine discussions with his sons, Cinco and Naviyd, about the impact of technology in their lives, Usher emphasizes the importance of open dialogue—using their car rides as a safe space to explore challenging topics related to social media and the digital world. “It’s not often that you have your kids’ undivided attention,” he said. “Why not choose a car ride? To hopefully make them put their phones down and talk about how they engage online and what impressions they get from what they see.”
Whether parents like it or not, social media has become an integral part of the teenage coming-of-age experience. From finding their aesthetic to seeing discourse for the first time, and it’s up to the parents to immerse themselves in it to get a better understanding of how kids are growing up. For Usher, he’s adamant about paying attention to how his children consume so many different energies and voices online.
“The ability to hear people’s opinions is good, but don’t overvalue it, and one thing I’ve tried to teach my kids by way of how I live and how I use social media [is] you can’t get caught up in what other people feel about you in the comment section, that ain’t for you,” he said. “[Still], what you do put out, you realize that you’re branding yourself and some expectation of who you are and what comes of you.”
While the Usher still sees the value of putting your phone down and actually meeting people, he knows it’s unrealistic to assume his kids aren’t exposed to the constant trends of social media. Whether it’s the “6-7” phenomenon or updating your close friends, it’s better to be as transparent and understanding as possible to get the best outcome and be in the know as a parent.
“Being able to collaborate is how I see and how I encourage my kids to use social media,” he said. “I don’t really encourage my kids to pay attention to what people have to say, because it’s not real and what somebody else feels about you, ain’t how you feel about you.”
Though Usher isn’t completely in the know (spoiler alert: he’s not on his kids’ close friends list), he’s found through communication that he can be a guide for his kids as he’s navigated the public eye and social media and hopes this Carversations can help parents meet their children in the middle because social media is alive and well whether they are ready to embrace it or not.
“Having good partners is the key you’ve got to realize, it has got nothing to do with screen time or how cool you are or whether you have an understanding of what’s going on in the world, we still are a village,” he said. “You cannot be benevolent in this time, saying, ‘Don’t do something,’ and then think that your kid is just going to listen to you because they’ll find a way to do it in another way, so all you can do is be hopeful that you got good partners and people around your kid to make certain that they make sound decisions and that they want better for themselves, and that they don’t want to just kind of get caught up in the idea of being something other than what they are.”
Usher aims to use Carversations as a catalyst for encouraging parents to improve their communication with their children about social media. He hopes that by this time next year, he will be able to share whether or not he has made it onto the Close Friends list.