Despite popular belief, grief is a feeling that doesn’t fully end but more so lessens over time. Adults who have lost one or both parents would be considered adult orphans, considering the lasting impact in adulthood that grief can have, and the lack of guidance from a parental figure. In a study published by Cambridge University Press, despite death and loss being a universal experience across different cultures, the ways that it is handled per person on a global scale can vary.
The African American community has the factors of exposure to repeated loss, systemic oppression and discrimination, and unspoken expectations on the grief process within the Black community at play when navigating grief both at inception and ongoing over time. This is where the concept of being an adult orphan can have a heavier weight on someone’s mental health.
While adult orphanhood isn’t a legally recognized term, it is a concept that’s gaining popularity on social media as more people share their experiences and embrace vulnerability with others online. The conditioned social mindset towards it is that emotions should be processed differently because you’re a certain age, but for many people, the death of a parent can make them retreat to childlike behaviors or completely disassociate from reality as they reflect on the loss. This belief leads many to believe that they’re fine or don’t need as much support as those who have lost a parent at a younger age, which ignores their emotions and minimizes their grieving process. The harsher reality is that, though the grieving process has been split into five categories, there’s no designated timeframe for how long it could take in total. Some triggers may not even be seen as such until a considerable amount of time has passed. As outlined by Healthline, these stages of grief are not a linear path, and in some cases, one may even repeat certain stages of the process.
In the African American community, many look to the church, cultural rituals, and community groups as a beacon of light during their grief as they seek out support. In some cases, the passing of someone can automatically opt one in to take on the role of elder or matriarch in a family. This newly added responsibility, compounded with grief, is another factor that can make the emotional load heavier for someone who is grieving.
While the aforementioned methods can be viable coping mechanisms, they cannot always take place due to medical racism, invalidated grief, and disproportionate factors that take place. The way that each person grieves can vary based on their upbringing, family dynamics, and personal beliefs. However, when there is no space made to embrace new methods, it can be difficult to fully heal from a loss. The grief that each person faces should not only be acknowledged but also embraced in all its complexities to allow space to heal in whatever form that may take, based on that person.
According to Frontiers in Psychiatry, a study revealed that African Americans experience prolonged grief disorder (PGD) at a higher level than white Americans, despite there being lower reports of African Americans being diagnosed with the condition or receiving professional grief support. This is due to factors such as clinician bias, racial stereotyping within the African American community, and, in some cases, a lack of awareness that the issue is playing a strong factor in other areas of someone’s life.
The study also spoke to the added layer of grief that some experience when dealing with the sudden or violent death of a person. In those instances, one is grappling with the trauma of the situation and grieving the loss of the person. This phenomenon is known as traumatic bereavement.
In order to identify whether or not you or someone you know is experiencing PGD, it’s important to seek mental health support from a licensed professional, as intense, persistent feelings similar to when the loss first occurred after 12 months can be a sign of the condition.