If you’re like me and grew up in the early 2000s, you’ve likely been active on various social media platforms—from Myspace and Facebook to Instagram today. Social media has become an important part of how we connect and present ourselves. What once started as a way to stay in touch with family and friends has gradually shifted into a space where we’re influenced by people we’ve never met—whether influencers, celebrities, or even friends of friends.
With instant access to people’s lives, social media offers a constant stream of updates, highlights and curated moments, often impacting our mental health and self-esteem. For Black women, this can have a lasting impact—showing up as a subtle comparison, anxiety, depression, or the feeling of being constantly observed but not truly supported.
According to a recent survey, the average person spends about two hours and 24 minutes a day on platforms like TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook. Meanwhile, the American Psychiatric Association reports that about 50% of adults say they’ve actively limited their social media usage. With terms like “monitoring spirit” buzzing on the internet—used to describe the feeling of being watched but not genuinely supported, there’s no surprise that people are limiting their screen time.
In response, Black women, including myself, are becoming more intentional about how we engage online. It’s less about accepting every follow request to make others feel comfortable and more about curating feeds that feel aligned, setting boundaries, limiting access, and even choosing not to post in real time. The days of feeling guilty for unfollowing your Instagram “friend” are over. There’s a shift in how we’re thinking about access, boundaries, and who gets to be part of our daily lives, both online and off.
Why Black Women Are Becoming More Intentional About Their Mental Health
That pressure is something wellness practitioner Dora Kamau has experienced firsthand. For Kamau, social media’s impact on her mental health showed up as low-grade anxiety over time, especially when she wasn’t clear on her “why” for showing up online.
Without that clarity, she found herself trying to do everything, be everywhere, and meet every expectation, which ultimately led to burnout.
“There’s an unspoken pressure, especially for creators and practitioners, that visibility equals relevance,” she says.” And if you’re managing that visibility on your own, it can take a toll. You can start to internalize things that are actually out of your control—like algorithms, engagement, or whether your work is even being seen.”
How Social Media Is Impacting Black Women’s Mental Health
While social media offers connection, Dr. Alfiee Breland-Noble, licensed psychologist, author of Rise and Thrive, and founder of the AAKOMA Project, told EBONY its design can also contribute to emotional strain.
“Social media is grounded in a culture of ‘show me,’ designed to capture and hold our attention,” says Breland-Noble.
That constant exposure can have real psychological effects. She explains that users often become “consumers of comparison,” measuring their lives against curated versions of others—something that can contribute to anxiety, stress, and depressive thoughts.
For Black women, those effects can be even more pronounced. Dr. Alfie notes that exposure to racial trauma and gender-based harassment online creates an added layer of stress that uniquely impacts mental health.
Still, she emphasizes that social media itself isn’t the problem, it’s how we engage with it.
“The goal is to use social media in a way where you control it—but never allow it to control you,” she adds on to say.
How Black Women are Curating Their Digital Lives to Protect Their Mental Health
For Rachel Cook Northway, that’s what needed to happen to her once it became clear when her digital habits began affecting her physically. “I started having anxiety before opening social media apps and my email,” she says. “Now I turn off my device in the evening, and I physically feel better.”
Like many, she also noticed the subtle ways comparison showed up in her daily scroll—especially around career and life milestones. In response, Northway began limiting her time online, deleting her personal page, and becoming more intentional about what she consumes. “My goal is to produce more and consume less,” she adds, framing the shift as a new way to protect her mental health.
That same shift intentionally is something Kamau has embraced as well. “I use my personal and professional values to guide how I use social media,” she says. “If I value honesty, care, and connection in my real life, that has to be reflected online too.” Kamau also notes that she’s learned to pay attention to her habits in a different way. “Now, I treat those moments as signals,” she adds. “Instead of immediately turning to my phone, I step back and ask what I actually need—what’s the need underneath that behavior?
Overall, Black women’s growing desire to curate their social media isn’t about stepping away from it—it’s about redefining how we show up within it and doing what feels right for them.