The summer months are for travel, recharging, and inviting in romance. The best way to do that is to get outside, be open, and explore. Dating coach and expert Anwar White, who brilliantly advises women online to maintain their worth, and within his forthcoming book, Girl, Get Your Guy! Date With Strategy and Get the Love You Deserve, debuting on February 2, 2027, suggests that the dating opportunity doesn’t start when you land at your destination. It starts the moment you leave your house.
“The airport, the lounge, the gate, the flight itself. These are all spaces where you can be open, approachable, and ready to engage,” he told EBONY. “Put the AirPods down sometimes, look up from your phone, have a guy put that luggage in the overhead compartment, and let yourself be seen. A lot of women travel in a bubble and then wonder why nothing happens until day four of the trip.”
Before landing at your international destination, open up the dating apps if you’re comfortable using them. White encourages his clients to start vetting before they land. “Swipe 3 to 7 days before you arrive. Get on the phone with some of these men before you ever touch down. That way, you’re not burning the first three days of your trip filtering out the obvious nos. You land already knowing who’s worth a meetup and who isn’t,” he stated.
“When you get there — this should go without saying, but it’s my job to say it: Travel in a group or find your group when you arrive. A solid group of women gives you a home base, familiar faces, and a built-in safety net. If you’re solo, link up with other women travelers at your hotel, on apps like Bumble BFF or in expat groups. Women look out for women. Build that network first, then go have your adventures.”
What happens when you land the date? White says it’s best to have a phone call first and always meet in a public place the first time, like a landmark or a popular spot, not your hotel lobby. During the date, White believes that the man should court you, meaning you shouldn’t have to pay for anything.
“He pays for everything. Let these men court you. If you’ve ever watched 90 Day Fiancé, you already know there are men out here looking at American women and seeing American dollars. He should be investing in you. You’re not investing in him. And while we’re here, a sister rule to that one: Don’t accept large gifts or cash either. Receive the courtship, which are the meals, the experiences, the transportation, and showing you his city. In some cultures, money and expensive gifts early on come with strings attached, sometimes cultural strings, sometimes legal ones. Stay clear of all that.”
White encourages women to be aware of the energy they bring to dating abroad. “You want to be present, you want to have fun, you want to be romantic, you want to enjoy it. But vacation you and home you are two different women, and vacation you does not get to make decisions for home you. No promises, no talk about what’s next. No, ‘I’ll move here,’ no, ‘come live with me,’ none of that. Go in without an outcome attached. You’re not there to find your husband; you’re there to enjoy your life. If something real comes from it, beautiful. If it doesn’t, you still had the time of your life, and you go home whole.”
Danielle Pointdujour, an award-winning journalist and travel expert, agrees with his viewpoint: it’s good to be open and say ‘yes’ to adventure, but be smart about it. Growing up West Indian, she’s been traveling as long as she can remember, but it wasn’t until college, when she was able to travel alone more, that she dipped my toe into the dating abroad pond, and it has been a time ever since.
“I think people believe that dating abroad is so much easier than it is at home, but in my opinion, it’s really that people are less guarded, less stressed, and more of their true selves abroad, so they end up encountering people who are attracted to that,” she shared.
“I notice when I’m abroad, I subconsciously let go of the lists: must be a Black man, must make $100K plus, etc. I’m not on guard. Instead, I’m relaxed and tapping into the different sides of myself, which leads me to meet men just for the plot of it all. I don’t need to know what they do for a living right away or if they want kids, etc. All they have to be is respectful, interesting, attractive, flirty, and ready to show me a good time. If the vibe is right, I’ll say yes to all kinds of adventures, and that makes for great tales in the group chat.”
Pointdujour encourages women to do it for the plot, but be safe and trust your gut. “I think this goes without saying, but safety is the top priority. Go on the date, take the motorcycle ride through the hills, follow them to a friend’s party, but do it safely. Share your location with friends and always trust your gut,” she told EBONY.
“In some countries, I pick two very public bars or restaurants not too far from where I’m staying for all my first dates, and I let friends (especially those who live in nearby countries) know the details and share my location with them. I also don’t move from that location if something feels off; I don’t care how sweet the man is being. There have been plenty of times where the date went great, but something told me not to leave immediately afterward so they wouldn’t know where I was staying.”
Pointdujor also suggests capturing the moment. “All the sayings are true: ‘What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas,’ ’No face, no case,’ etc. But what’s also true is that these dating adventures are a part of your life journey. Don’t be afraid to document the moment. Trust me, when you’re looking over your life years later, you’ll regret not taking the picture with the hot surfer guy who took you all over Australia way more than you’ll regret having a photo to look back on with a smile,” she said.
So, what happens when you meet someone abroad and begin dating, but you have to return home and want to continue the romance? White suggests that the person you’re interested in comes to see you in the United States first, without you reaching out.
“Have your fun, protect your peace, come home with the stories and not the regrets. You stay on your home turf where you feel safe, where you feel empowered, where you know the lay of the land,” White encouraged.
“His getting on a plane to see you also tells you something really important. It tells you he’s economically viable enough to invest in a relationship with you. Because if he can’t make that trip or won’t make that trip, you already have your answer about what’s possible long term.”
Here are three more tips White suggests for successful dating abroad.
Control the communication
You have to manage how often you all are talking. I see women dating internationally fall into this trap of calling every single day, sometimes multiple times a day, because the distance is making them anxious, and they’re trying to soothe that anxiety with contact. Don’t do it. One or two calls a week are plenty. When you’re talking every day, it compresses the whole timeline in your head. You feel like you’re six months into a relationship when really you’ve only spent six hours together as actual humans in the same room. That false closeness is what has women moving too fast, ignoring red flags, and booking one-way flights to countries they have never been to.
Ask the uncomfortable questions early
What does his family look like? Is he working? What does his actual day-to-day life look like over there? What are the cultural expectations around marriage, around women standing in the country, around in-laws, around religion, around money? I know these questions feel like a lot on date three when you’re dating someone in your own city. But when you’re dating internationally, these are survival questions. You don’t have the luxury of figuring it out slowly over time.
Strive to understand the culture
It’s important to understand the cultural nuance around language and around romance. I love you does not mean the same thing in every culture. In some places, “I love you” is closer to “I like you,” or it’s just part of how they court, and it doesn’t signal commitment the way it would here. Same thing with the big romantic gestures. In some cultures, that intense romantic energy early on is just how they move. It’s the cultural norm. It’s not him being uniquely smitten with you. So don’t give that romance the same weight you would if an American man were doing it. You have to calibrate to the culture, not to your American template.