In Audre Lorde’s A Burst of Light, she wrote, “caring for myself is not self-indulgence, it is self-preservation, and that is an act of political warfare.” Somewhere in the fusion of manipulative capitalism and our shared desire to escape either the social climate or the complexity of our individual lives, we lost the plot. We’ve replaced much of the practice with prioritizing our physical appearance. The practice of self-care now mirrors the makings of a financial ruse. It feels more like a game of Keeping Up with the Joneses than a system built to take care of ourselves.
In the early days, self-care initiatives called for more intentional practices like meditation and boundaries. Today, it feels like the concept has been overrun by quick-fix products and pricey experiences. The financial component of its evolution is now isolating anyone outside of specific socioeconomic abilities. The pitfall of commercialized self-care is that it is easy to indulge in its alluring presence. With every scroll, commercial, or day-to-day interaction with advertisements, we (the consumers) are being subconsciously convinced that taking care of ourselves isn’t as simplistic as it actually is.
That, in conjunction with the infatuation of focusing on what’s most alluring or trendy, has played a role in how modern-day self-care is perceived. The practice has shifted from being wellness-centered to polarization. It’s easy to adopt a particular stance when it’s constantly being shoved in your face.
Self-care is a billion-dollar industry; that isn’t by coincidence. What’s most alarming is the rate of women experiencing burnout, even as the average woman spends nearly $2,000 annually on wellness. That’s roughly $160 per month just to feel good in an economy that is in crisis, from the Black unemployment rate to the drastic increase in the cost of living.
Outpatient Therapist and Wellness Provider, Alexis Hall (LCSWA) says, “Everyone sees self-care as things you are doing for yourself from the outside-in, versus seeing what is needed from the inside-out.”
By definition, Hall believes that self-care involves taking action to assess and manage the stress we experience personally. What it isn’t is a standard shared experience with a specified solution, serving as a one-size-fits-all approach to bettering ourselves. What works for one person may not work for another, and the core of who is most well is not solely accomplished through financial capabilities. “One of the best tools I share with many people is the seven types of rest. It’s easily [accessible] to dive deeper into and you can use it to help guide the rest that best fits you,” Hall shared.
Rest, compared to other wellness activities, is readily accessible. It also comes in several forms without costing a dime, and “sometimes the most beneficial thing you can do to take care of yourself may not cost anything at all,” Hall said. The ability to take care of yourself shouldn’t come at the cost of creating an additional socioeconomic divide. Being well does not equate to breaking the bank. What it involves is intentional individualism that replenishes your cup — mentally, physically, and emotionally.
Yolanda Jenkins, the Founder and CEO of Santee + Redwood Wellbeing Studio, has a similar take. “Capitalism has pushed us to think of self-care as a product or service. It’s become something that we do to ourselves. The fact is that what feels like self-care is such an individual experience,” Jenkins said. Having an individual experience, though, requires reclaiming your practice altogether.
Part of identifying what that looks like for you may involve taking a step back from what your favorite creators are recommending to take inventory of what works best for you. Practices like meditation, walking, or journaling all offer a moment to self-reflect. Each activity offers a reprieve from the business of everyday life. “At Santee + Redwood, we explicitly name the “‘isms” that get in the way of caring for ourselves. Capitalism and hustle culture are included in that list. Capitalism has co-opted self-care to the point that it can feel like self-care doesn’t count unless we’re spending money,” said Jenkins.
So, realistically, how do you reclaim your self-care practices once it has been influenced by outside factors? The answer is to get clear on what you need. Without organic clarity, the search for wellness will only continue in the form of racking up products and services.
Narrowing down what is most exhausting and soothing it with the kind of restoration your body needs is another starting point. And that doesn’t mean the physical maintenance that makes you feel good should go completely out the window, but it shouldn’t be used as a means for temporary relief that costs you more than you gain.