With 60% of Gen Z and Millennials reported as first-time caregivers in 2021, this number has not only grown but also fostered new conversations about what the next generation of caregivers looks like. In recent years, the face of caregiving has shifted from older adults to Gen Z and Millennials. Beyond societal factors and cultural shifts, these generations’ experiences as caregivers differ from those of older generations because they have to find new approaches to things like dating, their social lives, or simply spending time on their own.
Take 30-year-old Shaniya Graham, as an example. After taking on the responsibility as caregiver for her grandmother for the last three years due to age-related health issues, she’s had to navigate her entrepreneurship journey while maintaining personal relationships and missing out on what peers in her generation have grown to enjoy. “It definitely wasn’t an easy transition. Going from only knowing how to take care of myself to suddenly learning how to take care of someone else full-time at this age was challenging. I had to grow up fast and learn a new version of responsibility,” Graham told EBONY.
She continued on to explain that navigating relationships for her has been smoother because of the support provided by family and friends. This has given her space and opportunities to date and travel, should she choose to. “From the beginning, I’m honest about being a caregiver and that my grandmother lives with me. The men I choose to date end up becoming close with her as well. The great thing is, my grandmother actually encourages it.”
For millennial caregiver, Jessica Gutherie, who took care of her mother who was diagnosed with early-onset Alzheimer’s Disease, the journey couldn’t have started at a more interesting time. At just 26-years-old and living out of state away from her mother, she was faced with having to pivot in the midst of building her career.
“In the very beginning and especially as a younger caregiver, it felt so isolating because it felt like no one understood or was on the journey with me,” She continued on to explain that the lack of conversations about caregiving came as a result of the stage in life her friend group was in and the focus being on other things which led her to do more research in learning that one in four caregivers identified as millennials which provided reassurance.
Now being 37-years-old and having experience over the last decade, Jessica believes that this has provided her a unique advantage over her peers from having the experience so young. Her friends have even come to her expressing their understanding of the position she was initially in. From having to face their own parents aging to determining what care could look like for their own families.
Similar to Graham and Gutherie, 39-year-old Jacquelyn Revere was a caregiver for her grandmother, along with her mother, who both lived with dementia simultaneously for six years before caring for her grandmother up until her passing in 2022.
“For most millennials, caregiving is a very isolating and lonely experience. I have the culmination of my mother’s life in my hands, but I’m also putting my own life aside to show up for her, and having such a heavy responsibility in the years that many establish a career and begin their family was difficult. Though I wouldn’t take the experience back, I hope to create safe spaces for caregivers to feel heard and understood as they navigate this journey,” Revere told EBONY as she shared her experience as a caregiver.
Her belief is similar to Graham’s, from that outside support truly makes a difference that a caregiver may need. “If it takes a village to raise a child, it takes that same village to walk an elder to their resting place. A community approach is what we need to survive this. Every emotion and feeling you have is valid.”
According to a study released by The Guardian Life Insurance Company of America, almost 43% of Americans are facing having to balance full-time working with caregiving responsibilities, making it a 13% increase from previous years when the study was done. With the demand of caregivers increasing, this poses the question of what support employees or organizations may bring to the table for support. As well as the support that may be needed in more households and families, or what that support even looks like.
Despite many who are outside looking in or even those who may be caregivers themselves, Shaniya believes that your life doesn’t stop just because you take on a new responsibility, but rather that it’s a new life adjustment you have to learn about. “The key is remembering to put yourself first sometimes, because if you’re not good, you can’t be good for anyone else. Their life is changing and so is yours, so you both have to be patient as you figure out a routine that allows you to show up for them without losing yourself in the process.” Graham explained when speaking about the misconceptions that she feels exist about caregivers.
“People just think, ‘oh well caregiving happens when my parents get old, or my partner gets old,’ and people think they have all this time to figure it out. In reality, we are all closer to caring for someone than we think that we are. The misconception is that because you have so much time, you can wait to have the conversations about end-of-life plans, but most folks, especially in the black community, wait too late and then you’re in a pickle when it comes to being able to finance supports, keeping your home, and leveraging resources,” Guthrie went on to say.
Meanwhile, Jacquelyn provided the reminder of the mental health toll it can take on someone to be a caregiver and how in many cases this responsibility can lean more on one person despite there being other people that can share the load. “I also believe people see caregiving as an automatic responsibility that should fall on the children. It tends to fall on one child, even when they have siblings and if people knew how high the mortality rate for caregivers is, they would have much more compassion for the work we do, and be more equitable when sharing the responsibility,” she said.
It is important for society and especially younger generations to take heed of life changes that could arise. With strategic planning, support, and external resources, it could make for a smoother experience. As well as, support through mental health services, flexible work schedules, and compassion from those around.